Saints Row Parody

Chapter 1


Outside the weather had gotten pretty bad, the sky was throwing lightning at us and I bet there was a tornado or to somewhere. But like every bad day comes good things too, it was only a few minutes till my mom came back with my mail. I had a surprise in it. I couldn't believe it! Mom arrived with a new game arrived, just furry two!! It's a modded playstation 3 game. It's just like the saints row 30 except the characters are furry's! It cost me a month’s allowance but it was worth it. I reached down and sliced the box open. Inside laid the very game. It also had a warning on it. I read it quickly half caring what it said. I ran to my room and inserted it into my pc.

The computer came to life. I loaded up the game. It was loaded in seconds. It was one of the add-ons for the saint’s row 30 so all I had to do was install it. I turned it on, but it said error, installation needed. I cursed. My mom must have heard it because she yelled watch it. I started up the installation.

An hour went by with no results it was so tiring that I began to fall asleep, I looked outside but with no help. I decided to test out my ear phones. They worked fine; I plugged them into the computer and listens to some music. It probably wasn't the best idea. I soon fell face first onto the computer screen sound asleep.

A few, hours later. The weather had grown extremely bad, trees were falling and lighting was hitting houses. Outside our house a lightning bolt ignited into a transformer and sent a surge of power directly into our power source. The whole house light up and bulbs exploded and appliances exploded. The computer suddenly sent a bolt into my ear phones and into my head.

I jerked awake. I had a massive head ache. I sneezed, I had a cold too. I suddenly realized that I was on top of a peak. I stood up. I shook some of the snow off my arms. When doing so I realized that my arms were grey and full of fur. "Holy shit... what the...?" I suddenly felt something touch my back. I jeered around, but no one was there. I reached behind me feeling a mass of long hair. I had a tail. I looked down at my legs. I had long grey fur all the way down to my feet. My feet had lost their toes and were replaced with paws and I was now walking on my forepaws. I held my hands out in front of me. Holy shit! What the hell happened....?" I yelled. I fell backwards into a pile of snow. My hands were paws with three fingers and soft paw pads that were black.

After I realized that I wasn't dreaming I came to the reality that I was a furry. I looked around the peak. On all four sides was a steep slope that I probably couldn't access by foot. I walked over to the edge, I saw what looked like a lodged around thirty feet down the slope, but it was a pretty long slide. The mountain was so high up that you really couldn't see the ground. Something had caught my eye; there were people at the lodge. I had to try to get down there. I dropped down on my furry back and inched forewords, then I racked my nerves and gave the final push.

"Weeee!!!" I started slow at first then gained speed; soon I was going at least thirty miles per hour. I saw the lodge coming up faster than I wanted it to. I needed to slow down. I had a sudden idea, I hoped it would work; I dug my claws into the icy slope. I felt myself slowing down. I just hoped my claws wouldn't snap or break off. I looked around frantically, there was nothing to grab.

I slid past the lodge and slammed into a tree breaking it in half. I could feel the impact because it hit my crotch. "Oww...Fuck that stings...." some of the snowboarders had stopped and were taking pictures. They must have never seen a furry before. Goes to show furry fans are less around the world. I got up and shook off the pain. I walked over to the lodge. I walked over to the door and opened it. The light was really weird. I walked over to the information broker. He said in a somewhat Russian accent, "what can I do ya for, uh whatever you are? Nice costume by the way!!" I said, "Thanks... I need to know where I am exactly..." "Okay sure you’re on mount panama, it’s currently owned by the Ronan. I told him thanks and walked off. I need a way of getting off the mountain. I looked around, there were various stores but none were open. I suddenly noticed a group of drunken ski patrol men. They had fainted by their snow mobiles. I wondered... I ran up to the ski mobiles. I climbed on and realized that you need the keys. I hoped off and slowly searched the patrol man for the keys. I eventually found them, but by this time other people had saw me. I hoped back on ad people started to run toward me. I inserted the key into the ignition and tried starting it up. "Come on... come on... Come you fucking snow mobile...” I turned it once more then I kicked to life. I slammed my paw onto the gas pedal. It sprung foreword running into a nearby tree. I was flung forewords. I got up off the ground and shook myself off. I got back onto the snowmobile and backed it up. I yanked the throttle and zoomed around the tree.

I got no more than half way down the mountain before I realized that the snowmobile had taken a whole lot of substantial damage. I looked and regretted thinking and hit another tree. "Aw fuc..." Booooom! I went sailing down the slope. Behind me I could hear the snowmobile exploded. I blacked out.

I woke up; I was in the back of an ambulance. The doctor said, we've got an emergency, not only is he extremely injured but his costume won't come off. I said angry, "what the f... are you talking about this isn't a f...in costume it's real." "wait, wait, wait WAIT... your telling me if I cut you that you should bleed?!?!" "Well yes but wait are you...." she now had a knife in her hands; she struck me with a blow to my arm. It started bleeding. "What the fuck are you doing?!?!?!" I grasped my arm but as soon as I did, it started to heal. "what the heck...." I said stupidly. she said, "well your right about it not being a costume but I will need to take a blood sample." She placed the blood on the knife into a glass vile. I looked around the ambulance; it was small but full of equipment. The doctor or whoever she is, is probably five foot nine, she had an EMS outfit, it fit close to the skin. She bad flowing black hair. And green eyes. She was not only hot but a perfect image. I tried to stand up, but she shoved me back down, "whoa there were almost to hospital." I lied back down. She asked, "so do you have place to stay?!?!" "no I don't actually... I just arrived here a few hours ago. I asked, "don't you care that I'm a furry?!?!" "well I've always believed in other beings. Whoa whoa whoa you think I'm an alien?! No... No that's not what I meant... It's just that you’re definitely not from around here that's for sure." "I'm not an alien... Well I wasn't an alien before being changed..." "hold up we've arrived at the hospital. I felt the ambulance jerk to a stop. She opened the rear doors and with the help of some of the other medics they lift me down. I said kindly, "ya know I can walk..." "yah well I still need to give you a full check up... I think you would more benefit from a vet checking up on you." "uh excuse me I'm not an animal... Wait a minute... I am...” she wheeled me into the examination room. She said, "it will just be a minute please." She left. I realized that I wasn't wearing any pants. But I didn't see any resemblance of a penis. All I saw was a somewhat enlarged portion that looked like sheath for something like a cat would have. I knew that cats would enlarge it when having sex or to piss.

I was getting bored. Eventually the doctor came back with another person, she stared in awe. She asked, "I've never seen anything like it before what is he?!?! Part dog part humanoid?!" "actually part wolf." I said correcting her. "How is this possible?!?!" "Uh can I go now I need to figure out how to get out a place to stay.....?” "oh sorry about that..." she said snapping to her senses returning to her doctoring responsibilities.”What seems to be the problem?!?!" "well nothing except that I blacked out, if that means anything?!" "are you feeling any head pains and or are you able to see any white in the corners of your eyes?!" "No I don't, I need to go please..." "well okay I guess, come back if you need anything." the girl showed me to the exit. She said, "if you don't have anywhere to stay you can come stay with me... I mean I have a spare bed that you can stay in...." "okay I guess I felt kind of awkward, I only live with my brother and I don't have a sister. She said, I leave work at two... Do you have a watch??" "no I don't...." "after work we are going to find you some cloths... You can't go around nude yah know..." "why do you say that?!?!" I realized that I had a boner and my penis was extended. "ops shit........ Sorry about that......... Don't judge me...." "you think I'm hot don't you!!!" she said in a flush. "I do... Shit embarrassing.... God this is awkward...……" I covered up my crotch area. "I'm so sorry....." I turned around and began to leave but she yelled at... "see you at two, we will go out and eat... That's two in the morning. If you stand me up I will skin you alive. I continued out the door. I got rude looks as I ran out with my dick erected. I had never been more embarrassed in my life.

I finally got out of the hospital. I walked over to a street bench. I sat down. An hour passed and I got bored of waiting. I lied down on the bench. I soon found it hard to stay awake.

I felt a light tap on my back. I opened my eyes. It had started to drizzle. I looked up and caught a rain drop to the eye. I got up and ran for cover. I walked into the hospital. I accidentally ran into a young girl about twelve years old. "sorry about that..." I continued on she suddenly started to follow me. She then yelled, "Furry Puppy!!!" I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't let her pet me. I kneeled down on all fours and let her stroke my back. The little girl’s sisters giggled and ran and started petting me. They ran back to their parents. I stood up again and continued on. I found a clock. It read twelve o'clock midnight. Only two hours to go. I walked back to the waiting room and took seat on the bench. Right now I had a lot to think about. Like how I got here. One second I was asleep then I was a furry, it just didn't make sense. I didn't even know if I was even in the real world. Something about the lodge owner saying the Ronan. The Ronan were a street gang from the game saint’s row 30 they were a group of ninjas. So it is possible that I'm in saint’s fur. But then again it just doesn't seem likely. I was extremely bored now. I had two hours. I wondered if I could go to town. I was extremely hungry. I also felt very damp. I decided to shake off the water like the dog at my house does. I shook and sent water flying all around. I still didn't feel less wet. My hands were the wet the most. I walked over to the receptions, I asked, excuse me but do You have any towels?!" "sure there in the bathroom." I thanked her and ran off to the bathroom. I was leaving paw prints on the laminate floor. I found towels on the sink. I used them to soak up the water off my paws.

I walked back out to find out that I still had an hour to go. "f... Why it is that time seems to just drag on!!!" I decided to read the news paper on the rack. Then I realized that I hated reading. I gave up on that idea. I sat back down on the bench.

Eventually the clock turned two o'clock. The girl came out. She said, "well at least you’re not keeping me waiting. Thanks. Are you by any chance hungry?" "yes yes I am!!" "great I know the perfect night club, but first we will need to get you some clothes. Let's go to the mall they probably have at least one open shop. It’s only a few minutes’ drive from here!" she grasped my paw and pulled me towards the parking lot. I got into the front passengers seat. I buckled my seatbelt. She started up the car. It was probably an old hummer. I would guess a H3 year 2004. She pealed out of the parking lot. We drove down street after street as if she had no clue where we were going. Eventually we found our destination. She pulled into the parking garage. She said, "it's not far from here. I believe it’s on the first floor. Let's go. I just have to lock it first." she clicked the car keys and locked it. We walked into the mall. I realized that the mall looked exactly the same as the one in the game saint’s row 30.... Weird... We walked over to the store named, Perfect Figure. It was a clothing store. I walked around a found a set of clothing that was cheap and not expensive. All I could find that fit me was a pair of camouflage shorts; they were just the right size. Not mention no underwear would fit me so that's the only other option.

I felt bad about making her pay for due to the fact that I was poor and has absolutely no money. "Well now we're ready to get some food." I followed her back to her car. I was not too thrilled about going to a strip club but who cared... What I'm not a pervert. We climbed into the car.

She started it up and drove at full speed down the street. I clenched the hand rest. She hadn't been this reckless last time. "yee-haw take that mother f...ers!! She hit a stop sign. I yelled, "what the h... Is wrong with you?!?!" "I'm better explain... I'm part a gang known as the third street saints and the place that we were going is owned us." "yes I know who you are. I'm guessing you want me to join, don't you." "yep that's right so do you?!" "H... yah." "then we're going to need to get you a gun." "really I don't know how to use one...." "well I will show you, I'm the best shot in the gang." "she hit a group of bystanders.”h.. Yah muther f...ers!! I looked back as if by instinct. "s... Do you hear it?! The muther f...in police! Furry! Take this gun and fire!! He plopped a Glock 19 in my lap.

Here goes nothing. I tried to remember what they showed me on the gun channel. I pulled back the reloading head on the top. I aimed it out the wind and pulled the trigger. A bullet sailed clean out of the barrel slugging into the glass of the police car lodging into the windshield. "d... Nice shot!! I thought that you couldn't fire a gun!!" "I guess I just got lucky?!" she said, well keep it up!" I reloaded the next bullet into the chamber. I stuck my arm out the window and fire. This time it sailed right through the window and clean into a police mans neck rendering him dead. Something about killing the policeman made me squeamish. I looked back and found that the police car vanished out of thin air meaning that they were obviously not real. I leaned out the window. Just as I did a car hit the front of our car. The door was blown off. I stood hanging out of the window inches from the asphalt. "holy F..., HOLY F..., F..., F..., F..." she pulled me back in. As she did we jeered into the oncoming lane. The car slammed into another. We flipped over. I was windshield cannoned out. I skinned down the road. The car rolled over me. My left leg was broken it hurt like Fucking Hell Because I not only couldn't stand but the police had surrounded us. I limped over to the gun that fell from my hand in the crash. I fired and hit a cop in the forehead. I reloaded. Three out of seven. I fired again hitting another cop in the head. I reloaded again. I fired and fire. The clip had ruined out sooner than I thought. I limped towards the nearly crush car. I pulled the girl out. The car had started to burn. She didn't look to good. I got her to a far enough distance before I was able to fully help her. She had blacked out from all the flipping. I didn’t know what to do. Her cell phone started to ring. I answered it. It was one of the gang members. I yelled into the phone. "I need your f...in help get someone over here to help her and me. He said, were on our way hold tight!!


















Chapter 2:


I gripped onto my crappy pistol. Some trip this turned out to be! I loaded a clip into the pistol and fired. I sent bullets into the enemy cops. But it wasn't that easy, I was getting return fire. I felt a bullet shred through my skin. I howled in pain. I kept firing. "When the hell is back coming!?”Soon trust me!!!" "Well you're not the one with a bullet in your leg!!" I searched around the crater. I located a fresh clip. I was running low. I quickly pulled the girl further towards the alley way. The police were getting thicker, by the looks of it we will need a helicopter to get out of here. I shook the girl trying to get her to wake; it was hard enough to deal with the broken leg now I was having to drag dead weight.

Eventually the girl woke up. We hadn't made it to the alley way, she realized that I was hurt because of the blood on my leg. "Shit!! you need help, hold on..." she wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a fireman hold. She dragged me into the alley way. "The back is coming to get us! They will come get us right!?" "Of course they will.... But first we need to get to a higher location. Can you walk?!" "What the fuck do you think?!" "Aw grow a dick you pussy!!!" She helped me to my only good foot. I limped over to the ladder. Behind us the police men were regrouping probably calling in the SWAT. If this is true we're doomed. I wrapped my arm around the ladder and climbed up with one foot. Eventually I got up; we got to the stairway that led to the roof. I limped up to the roof.

The girl pulled out a flare, she cracked the flair sending a stream of fire out, "The flair will last us five minutes, so that should give them enough time to locate us!""What's your name?" "It's Tali." "Tali I'll have to remember that!" I felt myself becoming nauseous, probably from the lost blood..." "Hold in there Neil!" "Wait how do you know my name?" "I found that out in your records..." I hadn’t known that I even had records!

Above us the air turbulently shook my fur. The helicopter began to land. I was barely hanging on; I brought my arm around my leg, Tali as a doctor, grabbed her shirt and wrapped it around my leg to prevent me from losing anymore blood. Luckily as a furry I regain blood at a faster rate than any other beings. I felt my vision coming back. I wrapped my arm around Tali's shoulder; she helped me into the helo. I found a seat on the helo's medical bay.

The helo took off into the sky. Tali got to work fixing my leg. She poured a weird liquid into my cut. It burned like when you accidentally pour salt into your cut... It sucks!!! I grimaced, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!?!?" "STOP YELLING!!!" "Sorry it hurts...." I whimpered. "It's got alcohol in it... It's quick healing medicine. It may sing but it will wear off leaving a fully healed cut." I looked down at my leg; it was begin sear up the hole. "Where are we going?!?!" "Were heading to the third street saints headquarters. When we get there you're going to get a taste for being in a gang.... Drugs!" "Okay I guess..." personally I always want to try out drugs but I really didn't want to get killed from them... But since it's a video game I can do anything I damn well please!!! So let me smoke!!

We land the helicopter, rather crash landed a half mile from the land; they had forgot to refuel the plane... "Idiots you two dumb ass pilots forgot to refuel the plane!?!? What the hell!? Ugh can you guys help me get sparky to shore!?!?" The pilots grabbed me and lifted me out of the helo. They swam with me between their arms with the help of Tali. We eventually made it shore. I pulled out the pistol from my shredded pants. The pistol was corroded and wet. It was pretty much destroyed. I tossed it onto the ground. We were on an island. An island ten miles off the main land! I had no clue that this island even existed in the game. It was like the game was being rewritten by the second! "This way sparky!" "I have a name you know! It's Neil!" "Naw it's your nickname!" We walked over to a large cellar door. It was a tomb! I looked around; the whole building was arranged with a line of skulls that looked to be human skulls! Who in their right mind would live here?! We pried open the doors and entered into a large warehouse sized room! It was decorated into a white, saints purple colored wallpaper, the whole room was massive! There were multiple rooms with beds and such; I was set down on a long nine foot couch with purple leather! "Wow nice paint job!!" "Fuck yah it's to my liking!" "How you doing?!" "I've been better... I'm fine!" "Good because we have a job for you to do for us, don't worry I'll be going with ya!" "Okay what is this job...?” "Remember that thing about Tobacco, well that's the thing, we have a little problem with getting it, we heard about a possible shipment, and we want you to help us to hijack the truck! Don't worry we will have help, I'll be leading it, the assault that is..." I watch a few of the saints, upon first impression they were drunken and not the best choice for a team. I nodded, the only thing I could do to return the favor to Tali for saving me twice in one day... "Great follow me let’s get you some weapons and some food, we have a twenty four hour bar... It's fully functional!

I followed her into the bar; it was composed of a giant L-shaped counter with a large kitchen full of food... And crates full of bears and alcohol... They must really love alcohol here! I took a seat next to Tali, for a saint she was all a guy could ask for!! "Uhh sparky you have a large ass boner....." I looked down and realized that she was right! I quickly covered my crotch...... I wished these pants weren't shit! I waited till my dick was back to normal before I looked back, she giggled, "You know if you really like me you could have just said so!!" "Sorry I'm not used to my body..." So you ready to get something to eat?!" "Hell yah, I'm starving!" She raised her hand, the waiter who was also a saint came over, he spoke in a gruff voice, "What can I get yah?!?!" "I'll take a shot of the strongest stuff you have!" "What about you dude? What will you like to have?!" The guy handed her a glass of a bluish liquid. "What the fuck is that!?!?!" "That my man is the most illegal drug on earth, a mixture of alcohol, whiskey and wine in one, basically ninety-nine percent alcohol... And trust me when you drink it, with one sip and you'll be drunk in a split second!" "I'll take one!" "Sorry we're out that's the last one!" "Ah on second thought you can have mine!" she handed it to me. "Uh thanks..." I took a large gulp and it sent my head into a spin. "Ugh god that is strong!!! Fuck that is strong!!!" I suddenly felt extremely tipsy. My mouth burned from the alcohol. I stood up and felt myself trying to catch myself. "You need some help???" "Naw I'm good... Yah I need help..." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and lifted me up. "Man how much does you fucking weigh?" "Two hundred... Maybe more..." She dropped me hard onto the couch. I felt my head spinning. "Damn that was good!" One of the saints burst through the doors, commander Tali! The Ronan are attacking the Ultar dome!" "Damn... We need to stop them!" Tali turned to me... "Here take this!" she throws me a giant purple dildo! "What the fuck do I do with this!?!?" "Well figure it out!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me through the door. Personally I would have chosen a gun but yes one of the weapons in the saint’s row 2 original was a long purple dildo... And it stuck with the crew so they included it... Weird I never thought I would actually be using it!

We boarded into a large speed boat. I sat in the passenger’s seat. "Uh where the hell are we going!?" "You'll see! Here I also got you this!" she handed me a large pair of foam fists. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GIVING ME THESE WEAPONS!?!?" "What!? This one actually is useful! It's called the apoca-fist... They... Well you'll see!" "Commander Tali! We are arriving!" "Good lock and load!"

We stormed onto the docks. I decided to use the Dildo... Don't judge me... It was useful.... The Ronan were stationed all around the Ultar dome... Most had Asian looks, they were definitely Japanese! They had Compact Submachine guns. I filled the saints out into the battle field. "Time to have some fun!" I ran and hit a saint straight to the jaw... He fell back. The dildo sailed at him like a whip and was extremely flimsy. I laughed and hit him again this time it wrapped around him... "You my friend have been Rapped!" I threw him over the railing and into the water. He disappeared into the water. I felt a bullet hit me in the waist. Barely missing my vital organs. "Ow that fucking hurts!!" I dropped the dildo. "Neil uses the apoco-fists!!!" I slipped the fists over my hands. "How do they fucking work!?" "Just hit someone!?" I ran at the Ronan who shot me. I hit him with the over sized fists. He exploded in fragments of body parts and organs. They slammed onto the floor. "FUCKING COOL!!!" I turned around and hit an incoming Ronan on a bike. The Exploded into parts. "Neil we could use some help over here man!!" Tali was surrounded by Ronan. I grabbed the SMG off the Ronan soldier. I loaded as clip into the cartage. "I saw this on TV!" I ran towards the Ronan and then jumped off a nearby car. I didn't have time to think I let loose a stream of automatic fire. Killing the Ronan. "Hell yah muther fuckers!!!" I didn't pick up any ammo off the dead Ronan do I didn't have any more clips. I threw the empty gun hitting the Ronan upside the head. "No, for the melee!" I dove and kicked the Ronan's head straight into the floor. He fell back. Then I jabbed him with his long samurai sword. It went clean through his chest. Another Ronan soldier came up from behind, I quickly removed the sword and held it behind me, and his chest went clean through him.
_________________

Chapter Three


I grasped the desert eagle. "Hey Neil... Hold still!" Tali wrapped up my wounded arm. It had started to bleed. "Damn gunshot wound." this was the second shot today! I fired a round into the approaching Ronan soldier. He dropped like a sack of flour. I grimaced as Tali injected me with a needle. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" "It's a pain killer... It should help you out for now!" I let another round hit the enemy. Blood spewed out onto the ground in a large puddle. I grabbed for a second clip but there wasn't any. I cursed. "Tali I'm running... I mean I am out of ammo!" "Goddamn it hold still!!" I reached into Tali's backpack and found her shotgun. "What the hell are you fucking doing!?" "Trying to kill the bloody enemies what the hell are you doing!?" "Helping you muther!" I send a burst of bullets blowing off the arm of a Ronan. Blood spewed out onto the ground. The other slags went into the other Ronan. Leaving a pile of dead Ronan. "That should do it...” I got up and then vomited onto the ground. The killings were so... Gory. "Yah you'll get used to it." "I sure hope so!" Come on let's get out of here the Ronan are regrouping!" she pulled out a SMG from a dead Ronan. I looked around the area was pretty much clear. "The other Ronan are at the opposite end of town!”How are we gonna get there!?" Tali pulled me to the road. Just as she did a police car pulled up. "Ready for you first carjacking!?" "I guess...?" She punched the police cars glass and yanked the door open. Then she pulled the police man out. She then hand cuffed the police man to a nearby sign. I was given the honor of taking his gun. He was more than willing to give us his car.... He left with a loud, "Fuck you!!" I climbed into the back seat. "Hold onto something this is gonna get rough!!!" I didn't have time to respond. Tali gunned the car down the road and onto the highway. Behind us the Ronan had begun to chase us in their own cars. "Damn it here they come... Keep them off us!!" "Okay..." I kicked the door open and leaned out. A Ronan biker pulled up alongside us. I hit him with the door. He fell flat onto the road. Skidding a few miles first. The bikers kept coming. I prepared to hit the next when the car veered to the right... And hard. I flung out of the seat and fell with the door. I quickly grabbed the corner of the cars frame. "Neil!!! What the hell are you doing!?!?!?" "Improvising!" I pulled myself up. I had an idea... I could get on the cars roof... Hopefully I wouldn't fall off. The Ronan were approaching and in much more... Devastating vehicles. "They've got fucking helicopters!!" "Hold on Sparky!" I wrapped my arm around the frame. We jeered off the bridge down towards the underpass. "Holy Shit!" Luckily the cars suspension was able to absorb the blow but we popped three out of the four wheels. The roof hit me hard. I released my grip and started to roll off the cars roof. "No!!! Sparky!!" Tali swung her hand out and grasped my arm. "Hold on!!" She slowly pulled me in. "Damn it what the fuck were you thinking." "I don't know!?" "How much further!?" "About a few minutes!" By now we had escaped the Ronan. The highway went about twenty miles to the edge of the island. It was a long ways away. "What's on the far side of the island!?" "An airport... It's used to belong to them but now it belongs to us!" I remember reading in the guide about the airport... It was one of two... And it was the largest... It had many airplanes there. If only I had a license. I sat back in the seat. I had taken a few slags to the knee and it was beginning to pain me. I pulled the bullets out with my two claws. I grimaced as I removed the bloody bullets. I threw it out the window. Then I wrapped the seatbelt around it. The shot had left a good inch wide crater. "Damn that looks painful...” "You're not the one with it!" We pulled up to a giant building probably a hotel... "Why are we stopping here?" "We've got to pick up some things..." "What do you mean...?" "Well this hotel is owned by the saints... So we can pick up our extra ammo... Since you lost all your other weapons..." I climbed out and followed Tali to the hotel lobby. Regular civilians were sitting minding their own business. I on the other hand was under a hell lot of stress...upstairs was a master piece! It looked like it was made for the saints. It had a giant purple and white surrounding area. The ceiling had a giant angel hanging there. All the other saints had just gotten up and left. This fight must be bigger than I had thought. We entered into the closet. All the shelves were full of weapons and clothing. "Grab what you can and get going!" I grabbed a Minigun. "Where the hell did you get all these Fucking weapons!?" "Uh found them..." works for me! I grabbed a fifty foot long rope of ammo for the Minigun. "Hell yah!!" "Ready!?" "Hell yah!" We grabbed a pair of parachutes and pulled them on. "You ready to BASE jump!?" "Wait... what..." She grabbed my arm and pulled me off the edge of the building which was at least five hundred feet off the ground. "What the fuck!!! WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!?" I pulled my rip cord a little bit too early. I floated down to the ground. I was all around scared half to death... I hated to free fall... It made me sick. "Come on sparky!" I got up and charged after Tali. I was beginning to hate this body... But it did have some advantages. My feet were beginning to hurt and my arms were almost always unable to hold a gun... How I was able to fire was simple... Furries actually have possible thumbs. But I wasn't used to always wanting to drop down on all fours. Not to mention the tail was always getting in my way. Like seriously I couldn't control it... As if it had a mind of its own. I just hoped it would backfire on me. We came to a stop next to a burning aircraft. It seemed that someone was here before us and was wreaking havoc on us. But the odd thing was that they were nowhere to be seen! "Load up... This is going to be one hell of a fight!" "Uh I've already locked and loaded..." "Hello did you put the safety on...?" "No a chance... Shit...." We slowly approached the giant hanger. It was at least two hundred feet tall. Huge jets where parked all around it. I couldn't believe they would even fit in here! I slowly backed up to a plane. Something didn't feel right... It was as if they were preparing for a sneak attack.

"Damn it!!!" I turned around as the Ronan came busting through the doors. I charged up the Minigun and let a stream of ammunition plow through the Samurai. They dropped to the ground dead. That's when the next wave came through. They started to fire off of motorcycles. "Damn it why doesn't anyone play fair!?" I recharged the barrel and sent another stream of a hundred rounds into the bikes. They immediately ignited into a fireball. The Ronan driver burned to ashes. Tali was in her own mess. The Ronan had come from the opposite side as well. She luckily had a SAW machine gun... The next best thing to a Minigun. I kept the ammo flying till it was clear that they weren’t going to make another attack... "Sparky I could use some help right about now!" I turned around to see that the Ronan leader had Tali in her grasps. "Damn it!" "Well now that I've got your attention I can finally kill the leader of the saints and her friend. I looked down; a small desert eagle pistol was lying on the ground. I waited for the right second when he turned to talk to one of the Ronan soldiers I dropped to the ground and rolled while a bullet sailed into the asphalt next to me. I grabbed the gun and took one shot. The bullet went under tali's arm and into the Ronan's chest. He grunted and fell. Tali pulled out a knife and sliced him in the neck. I finished off the remaining Ronan. "Hell yah sparky that's what I'm talking about!!!" I coughed up a pile of blood. I looked down. The Ronan leader had snuck a shot out. I fell to the ground.

"WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?!?" It was a much worse hit. It had punctured my rib cage. "Hold on sparky! Don't Die! Hold on I'm gonna get you out of here!!" By now the saints had come to clean up the mess. Tali had another saint’s member help her drag me out of the hanger. What a weird adventure this had been. Nearly killed three times and wounded almost every battle... How did I fucking get in this mess!?

I woke up... I was on a hospital bed. My chest had stitches on them. As was many other areas. I grasped the edge of the bed and climbed out. I was beginning to get annoyed. "Hey sparky!! I brought you something!" Tali walked into the room holding a box. "What is it...?" "Open and find out..." I pulled it open. And inside was a small necklace, it had a picture of Tali and me in it. "Where the hell did you get this?" "I made it... Apparently we had a lot of time... I’ve been meaning to ask... Do you... Uh... Date... I've got this awesome place... It's on an island..." "Sure... I didn't think anyone would want to date a furry..." "You're not just any furry.... You’re my furry!" "Now let's get out of here!" Tali helped me up and out of the building. Outside was a jeep... With an odd symbol on it. I couldn’t make it out but something was odd about it. Then a large brute of a man stepped out. He had a large shotgun. "Sparky get this gun and prepaid to run..." Apparently these guys meant business. They had a baseball bat on one guy and a knife in another. Tali handed me a pistol. It was the same on I used to kill the Ronan leader. "Who the hell is this guy!?" "He is the leader of the brotherhood!”He isn't someone to fuck with!" I shakeout loaded a round into the chamber. "Run!!!" "What..." too late the brute fired a burst of fire from the shotgun knocking me back. I hit and hard. Metal shards shredded my skin. I could still fight... I fired at them. I hit one of the brotherhoods. I looked to Tali, she was firing. She also had shards of bullets in her. I would survive but she might not. I climbed to my feet and then fired a round of bullets at the enemy. All while making my way over to Tali. "We needed to get the hell out of here!" I grabbed her bloody arm and pulled her through the hospital. Medics scrambled out of our way. I didn't doubt them... Not only were they probably scared half to death of the gun I was holding but the whole furry look was rather scary to think of.

I knocked a nurse down. She cursed at me and then regretted it. She backed off. I fired rounds at a portable Oxygen gas tank. It blew up two of three brotherhood soldiers. "Hah muther fuckers!!" "Do you have a way to get out of here!?" "Well earlier I saw a helicopter parked on the roof we can take it out of here I guess and then to the island... Do you know how to fly!?" "Hell yah!" I've flow in flight simulator but never in real life! But he'll was I to give up a chance to get laid with a hot gangsta bitch!!! "I can do it!"

We got onto the roof top through the fire escape.... It was much convenient that it wasn't much of a hazard. Below him enemies were gathering. We climbed into the helicopter and I fired it up... Which seemed much easier in video games? Eventually I got it started and I then froze... Now what!?!? I looked around the thousand of buttons... I found what appeared to be the throttle and yanked it forewords. The helo lurched forward and I got it into the sky. "Which way to the Island!?" "I'll put it into the gps... It's a hundred miles off shore and should probably take up all our fuel and time... It's about an hour away but make sure to stop at the airport to get some fuel tanks filled.... We need to be able to get back!







Chapter Four


We eventually made it to the island. As with before I had no idea that the islands was even here! I stepped out of the helo. The sky was pitching black. You couldn't see anything... To cloudy... Or maybe some other reason. "Hey sparky can you help me load the stuff out of the helicopter!?" "Sure what did we bring?!" "Well food for starters..." On the way here we kind of raided a gas station for all its food... Also then we stole all the gas we could carry. All around the sea was raging. The island had a total radius of about four thousand and five hundred feet. It was covered in sand and a rather large cave.

"Hello... Sparky!?" I snapped back to my senses... "Sorry I was just thinking..." I helped her lift the over sized crate of foods and other 'Illegal' Drugs. "What's in the crates?!" "Uh... Weed and some other drugs... Why?" "Just what I thought..." We entered into the cave and found that it had been empty for some... "So where do we stay?!" "Easy... That's why I brought some things..." "She threw me a sleeping bag out of the box... "Why do you....?" "Don't worry we'll be upgrading the place!" "How?!" She threw me a small Flare gun... "What's this for?!" "Use it!" I aimed it up into the blackened sky... And fired a bright flare... Igniting the sky! Then out of nowhere a giant plane flew over the sky and out of the cargo bay a large wood crate came plummeting down! "Holy Shit!" I jumped out of the way as it slammed into the sand. "That explain your answer!?" "How the fuck did we get furniture from a plane!!! Why waist the fuel!?" "Hello...! Because we fucking can!!!" We pulled the furniture drop into the cave... Inside was a HDTV and a Bed as well as a few other pieces of furniture. We finished redecorating. We collapsed onto the bed. Even as a furry I was not prepared to get this work out... Not to mention I was still recovering from all the bullet wounds. I rubbed the still rough crater in my arm. "Hey sparky! Where are you really from...? You are definitely not from around here!" "Okay... I'm not really a furry... Well now I am but I wasn't always... I really am a... Human.... From... The real world.... This is uh... Kind of hard to explain...." "You mean from the other dimension!" "What the... I mean I think so..." "But they aren't furry's they are usually humans!" "Yah I don't doubt that... I may have used some mods for the game... Or this dimension... I don't even know anymore!?!?" "Calm down sparky! You’re not the only one from that dimension...... So am I!"

"NO FUCKING WAY!!!! YOU’RE JOKING ME!!!" "No I'm not... I was trapped here after my brother left me unattended in the Gaming Convention... Then I hadn't read the warning and was sucked in here after I chose to play the mod... Luckily I was still human... I've been stuck in here for at least three years..." "And it's been the same for me as it was for you... Luckily I was able to become the leader of the saints... Though it is hard for me bear with the fact that no one was real... Then I met you and all that changed... I had a feeling that someone would come and find me and bring me home... But now that I see it's going to be much harder than it looks I want you to accompany on this journey.... Will you do it?!"

I had to think about it... Apparently image wasn't lying... But how was I stuck in an alternate gaming reality?! I didn't even know it existed... But now I wasn't alone!!! "What is it that we can do to get out of here?!" "Well first we should help the saints acquire all the land here... Then that should open up a portal... But who says that we can't enjoy ourselves why we are at it.... "How old are you sparky?" "Technically... Eighteen...." "Perfect!!!" I was skeptical about having woohoo... But who cares it’s with a hot chick!!" I lied back and closed my eyes.... So much to process... "So... Sparky... You hungry!?" I hadn't realized this but I hadn't eaten two days straight! "Yah I'm hungry!" "Good because I've got... Some kind of food..." I hopped out of bed and I've to the fridge... Inside we had placed all the food we could get... We had some kind of hamburgers and some other weird foods. "Wants some wine!?" "She handed me a glass full of wine... "What is this?" "It's Golden Thorn!" "Why is it called golden thorn!?" Because it is made from an exotic plant... It just occurred to me... You are too young to drink... Care for it anyways!!!?" "Hell yah!!" She sat down on the side of the bed. I gobbled down a slice of meat and then chased it down with the wine... It was... Soothing actually. "So what's our next plan of action!?" "Well we should stay here till your wounds heal... Then we might as well make this our temporary home... Add in some more additions... As well as some security... Maybe an armory... And some vehicles..." "Definitely need a boat... And some more fuel for our helo..." "We should probably go to land and get some gear... You get the boat I'll get the gear!" "Okay that works!!"

The next day!!
I woke up with a start... I quickly exited the cave to find Tali outside. A storm was brewing... "Hey sparky! Do you think we should try flying in this?!" "Hell no!" "I guess we are grounded..." we reinterred the cave. I slammed down onto the couch. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU BLOODY CREATORS!!!!?” I yelled up to the sky... Someone was intended on killing their players.... "Hey sparky... Who did you buy the game from?!" "Microsoft... Eh why... Oh I know now..... CURSE YOU MICROSOFT AND YOUR DEADLY GAMES!!!!" I snuggled in next to Tali on the bed. She snuggled closer to me. "So... You wanna do it.....?" "I thought you'd never ask!" She jumped on top of me and started to wrap her legs around my waist. We worked in almost harmony removing each other’s clothing, and then we started to feel an urge to kiss. I slowly moved closer so that Tali's skin rubbed lightly against my fur, as if she was made of silk. She felt my fur under the covers. I felt giddy as if I had an uncontrollable urge to erect my dick. "You not gonna hold back are you!?" "Hell no!!" And so began ten long hours of the most stress relieving sex I've ever had... And that meant I was not a virgin anymore... Great how was I gonna explain this to my mom!?.... I wrapped my tail around Tali and we both panting uncontrollably. And in between panting said, "God wow that was fucking great!!! I wish it would never end!!!"




Chapter Five


The morning came with clear skies. I climbed out of bed. "Hey Sparky!! Can you get the Helo refueled?!" "Sure... Tali!" I groaned as I made my way to the mouth of the cave. I wished I had something to eat... Flying the helicopter for four hours was going to be hell! I could barely sit still for let alone one hour only if video games were a category. I closed the gas tank. "Hey sparky... Your tail is smoking..." "What do you mean by that!?" I looked down and realized that I had a welder on my tail. "Holy shit!" I kicked it off. Tali begun to laugh. I shook the flame out. I inserted the rest of the canister of fuel into the tank.

Eventually we were on our way. The trip was hazardous. Half an hour into the flight we ran into a storm. The weather had snuck up on us. "Where exactly are we on the maps?" ".... Uh on the Bermuda triangle like place not technically suppose to be here... I came across it upon entering...." So right now we are basically in the uncharted areas!?" "About right... Why?" "Well it's about the fact that the helicopter isn't gonna make it back all the way in this weather!" Outside the weather was slowly tearing the plane apart.

Just as I had expected, two and a half hours in and the helo was hit. A lightning bolt had struck the tail. The helo nose dived towards the water. The metal covering was shredding away like plastic! I could suddenly smell the smell of gasoline. The fuel valve could be seen from outside... The helo was still quite a ways from the ground... It was now free falling. I removed the seatbelt and then helped Tali get out. "You ready for a little fall!" I yelled over the screeching! I floated over to the doors. I grabbed onto them and yanked them open. Immediately I was pulled out. Not what I was planning to do!

I hadn't calculated the amount force that was on the other end. I plummeted to the ground. The wind stung my eyes as I fell. I aimed my head first. It then occurred to me that I didn't have time to grab a parachute! "OH FUCK NO IM GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!" I screamed in my head... I was close to blacking out! I looked up; out of nowhere Tali flung straight past me and grabbed me on the way down by the tail. "OWWS WHAT THE FUCK!!" She hit me on the back and I felt a parachute go around my back. I wrap it around my back and then at two hundred feet from the ground yanked the rip cord. Immediately I realized just how luckily I was. I hit the water with a loud WHAAAAAAM!! I went under. But that's when I got tangled in the wires. I had no time to react. I used my claw to shred the thin material. I kicked up to the surface. I was definitely not ready for this. I scanned the horizon. The waves were covering my view. I looked up. Above me Tali slowly floated down. I kicked towards her. She released her parachute. I caught her as she hit the water. "Well I should have seen that coming!" "Well Sparky... it seems we have a lot of swimming to do!" Maybe not!" I pointed at an oncoming boat. It was an oceanic cruise ship! "We need to get onto it!" I looked around the wavy surface... We needed some kind of flare like thing! Otherwise we blend in! I looked up, above the helicopter was still plummeting.... Maybe... The boat changed courses... They were probably going to be looking for survivors now!

The cruise found us and the crew helped us on board. It was obviously the least of our problems... The crew had been able to tell who we were... The whole island wanted us found and dead! The crew locked us up in the ship’s cargo hold. I was given the most flak! Nobody likes a furry....

I looked around the cage... It was barely big enough for us. It had some weak spots like for example... The lock was made from a weak metal.... Plus it was an easy pick-able lock. I waited till the crew had left before I started to fiddle with the locks. It was really stuck on there. I looked to Tali... She was still tied up. I had easily chewed through mine. I walked over to her. "Hold still... I'll try to chew through the ropes..." I went around to her back and dug my K-9 teeth into her ropes. Then I shredded them sideways careful not to hurt Tali. "Good boy!" She rubbed my head. "Uh I'm don't like that.... Okay fine I do..." I walked over to the lock... I tried to break it but it was beyond my comprehension. Tali reached over and in user thirty seconds picked the lock. I moaned as I felt like a dumb little fuck. We stealth fully got to the deck. There was a helicopter parked on the deck... It was a police helo! We decided to jack it! "You go and take the pilot... I'll get the anchors!" She nodded and we put our plan into action. It didn't go exactly as we had planned because the pilot had put up one hell of a fight. I ended up breaking one of the anchors as well as one of the fuel valves so we didn't know that we had started to leak oil.

I climbed into the cockpit not before jacking the pilot's helmet off him. "Really sparky.....?" "What!? It's cool!" I hit the engine startup pump. The blade started to pick up RPMs. By now the other police had started to realize what had happened and where arming their pistols. "Uh Tali... Can you come up with something to keep them off me!?" "Uh sure it's not like they have turrets!?" "God you don't have to be so fucking sarcastic!" I yanked the yoke and the helo lurched forewords. I wasn't getting enough torque! Behind us the police me let go a round of AK-47 fire. The bullets shredded the coating only making the oil leakage worse! It wasn't leaving me that bad off but I did notice that the oil light had started to flash! The helicopter was now off the ground. "And we are off!" I turned to Tali!" "Well we should have enough gas to get to shore but we may have to ditch off the shore... We are quickly overheating the engines." "Rodger that Sparky!" I engaged the auto-pilot. Let's see what the police have in here. I got up and moved towards the main passenger’s cabin. It had room for seven people. And littered on the ground were removable floor boards. I removed on to find the engine and as well as other various parts was under the mesh. I reached in and eventually located the oil tank. I pulled it out... "Heh what do you call this shape?!" "I donno swish cheese?!" "Pretty much!" it wasn't even connected... How the hell do you fix something what was shredded? It was so bad off that it was a toss away. I opened up the cargo doors and threw it into the water. I climbed in closer and found that it wasn't the only casualty. The floor board that separated the inside from the outside and kept the engine waterproof was shredded. Then there was the shot battery.... It was leaking fluids. "Damn it they really hate us!" I climbed up. I was covered in oil. "Uhg this will take forever to get out of my fur! That's all I can do..." I climbed into the seat next to Tali... Apparently we had another problem... We weren't the only ones in the air. The police had called in reinforcements. "Hell no!" I turned to Tali who was reading the pilots manual. "Apparently this helicopter is armed with a fifty caliber machine gun..." "You could have told me that before!" "If I had known that before!" I disengaged the autopilot. Ahead squadrons of helicopters were heading at us. "Here goes nothing!" I let loose a round of ammo igniting a helicopter. It plummeted into the ocean. The other helicopter let loose its heavy guns. I yanked up just as a hundred bullets sailed past us. One just barely clipped the propeller. We sailed straight upwards. "HOW DO I STOP CLIMBING!!!!!?” "I DON'T KNOW!!!" the helicopter started to make a ninety degree climb! Then it stalled out! It plummeted back down to earth... I hit the yoke and evened back out. I fired a stream of bullets into the enemies. Another helicopter hit. Back from behind a helo fired at us. It hit right through the back of the helicopter and shredded the wall. The tail wing was also severely damaged. The ammo had punctured the fuel tank. "Goddman it not again!!!" "Hold on sparky I got an idea!" she planned on getting the helicopter close enough to the enemy and attempting to air-jack the helicopter! "Are you FUCKING CRAZY!?!?" Well I thought it was a good idea.... "We may need to... I had a Bette idea. I had thrown the anchor cables back into the cargo bay. I set the helo on autopilot. Then I ran to the hatch and found the anchor cable. Then I pointed to the controls. "Take the helo off autopilot and then get me close enough to snag the enemy!”Why can't I anchor it!?" "I am... Uh I guess... You can do it if you want to I guess..." She took the winch out of my hand and hooked it onto the door of the helicopter. With that she slowly dropped out of the helicopter... "Come on sparky I'm ready!"

I climbed back into the seat. I flicked off the autopilot. This was going to have to be quick... The fuel was low. I swung the helo around and turned towards the enemy helo... Immediately it started to fire. It ripped apart the helo's frames. One of the bullets went clean through the windshield. It caught me by surprise. I quickly swung upwards missing another volley of ammunition. I yelled to Tali, "Go do it now!!!" I brought Tali next to the incoming helo. She grabbed onto it. But that's the good news. I was hit with a hell lot of updraft. The helo spun out of control and I was weightless again. "DAMN IT WHY NOW!?!?" I bailed out and once again fell into the water. Hopefully Tali were doing better than I was. Up above I could see the helicopter spinning wildly. I plummeted into the depths of the ocean. I suddenly found that I couldn't breathe.... I looked down; my leg was trapped on the anchor. "Aw fu... Goooggff!!" I was doomed!

Next thing I remember was blacking out. Then silence.....